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英语幽默故事小短文 篇一

Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested

in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for

ten or 15 cents each.

I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was

a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill.

“Keep the change,” he said.

英语幽默小短文 篇二

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

一个男人摇摇晃晃地走进了急诊室，两个眼睛是青的，脖子上有明显的五指印。

Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. “Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.

医生问他发生了什么。“额，是这样的，”这个人说。“我和我老婆来了几局高尔夫，她把球打到一个牛群里。”

”We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.

“我们去找这个球，我四下搜索，发现一头牛的屁股后面有个白色的东西。”

“I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake.”

“我走过去，举起了它的尾巴想看清楚，我老婆的球就卡在牛的屁股中间。然后我犯了一个错误。”

“What did you do?” asks the doctor.

“你干嘛了？”医生问。

“Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'”

“额，我举起了牛的尾巴，对我老婆喊道，'这个好像是你的！'”

英语幽默故事小短文 篇三

Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, “have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?”

Bill said, “Yes, I have,” and he gave them to him.

Then George said, “Now I haven‘t got a pen.” Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, “have you got a stamp, Bill?” Bill gave him one.

Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, “Are you going out?”

Bill Said, “Yes, I am,” and he opened the door.

George said, “Please put my letter in the box in the office, and.。.” He stopped.

“What do you want now?” Bill said to him.

George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, “What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?”

英语幽默故事小短文 篇四

Early in the morning, the hippo came out for a walk as usual. The difference is that there is a foul smell in the air today. What is it? Where is it? The hippopotamus sniffed at it with its nose. The hippo looks around. Not only did he not know it, but his good friends were lions, hedgehogs, monkeys, and crocodiles who had just climbed up from the river. While looking, he asked, “where does it stink and where does it stink?”

“Look, what's that? The hedgehog sees a good big lump, the finger to that huge object ask everybody. Everyone came up to him. ”wow, it's really smelly!“ ”Not only smelly, but also very big!“ ”And whose shit is this? I said it all in a word.

“Who can pull such a big shit? ”Only such a large animal! “Are you talking about elephants? ”I guess it's the sky! “Ha-ha, the sky won't grow! I haven't seen it! ”But sometimes the sky will urinate, you are not wet! Ha ha ha ha.“ ”Don't laugh at me, you too, ha-ha.“ ”Ha ha ha.“ The prairie is remembered with happy laughter.

”Sorry, it's my shit. I'll sweep it off!“ It was the poop of the elephant, no wonder it was so big! Good big ah! I haven't seen such a big shit. ”The animals said to each other. “Why do you take such a big shit?” When they heard the crowd asking themselves, the elephant thought for a moment and said, “maybe I eat more.” “Said the lion.” we eat more, too. I have such a big shit to pull.“ ”So do I.“ ”Me too! The hippo heard all the people wanted, and said, “well, we'll all come here tomorrow morning to see who has the bigger shit!” Everyone agreed, and as soon as he got home, he ate it, and everyone wanted to take the big shit.

Finally the next day, you come to guess who is the champion. And, of course, the elephant! What a big mess! The hedgehog said sadly, “well, my shit is the smallest. I went home yesterday and tried to eat it. I couldn't sleep at night. It's the smallest.” “What are you doing? Look back, isn't this mom and dad? Why are they all here? ”Shit everywhere? Come on, clean up your shit!“ So the friends began to pack their shit. This time, the hedgehog won the championship.

英语幽默故事小短文 篇五

A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away. So they got married immediately.

The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. ”What happened?“ she asked. ”You used to walk straight before we were married.“

”Oh, honey, “ he replied, ”I can't drink that much every day.“

幽默的英语笑话短文 篇六

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States,she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her.At the bank counter,the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real.It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more,uttering.”Trust me,Sir,and trust the money.They are real US dollars.They are directly from America.“

一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。

这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”

英语幽默故事小短文 篇七

As a clerk at a university post office,I was greeting patrons with a ”Hello“or ”Good morning“。When a Spanish exchange student approached the counter,I happened to say,”How's it going?“

Laying his foreign mail in front of rne,he replied,”Airmail.“

英语幽默故事小短文 篇八

A boy of about ten was sitting on a city bus with a briefcase on his lap. Periodically the youngster would whisper into his coat. A woman passenger caught his eye with a quizzical look and,in response,the boy produced a small white mouse from his shirt pocket.”He's just a baby.”explained the youngster. “His parents are in here. ”Opening his briefcase,he brought forth a pair of slightly Larger. white mice from among a dozen or so that scurried around inside. By this time several other passengers had formed an audience, and the boy patiently explained his interest in mice,how to take care of them, their eating habits, their different personalities and so on.

As the bus pulled up to his stop,the boy slipped the mice back into his briefcase and rose to leave his rapt audience. Starting down the steps,he turned back for a moment.“They are for my snake. ”he said and disappeared out of the door.

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