英语幽默冷笑话多篇搞笑阅读（新版多篇）范文

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经典英语口语小笑话 篇一

我懂他的话

While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . “Mump umn Kmpfhm,” was all I heard.

“Drew,” I scolded, “no one can understand a word you're saying.

”He says he wants some ketchup,“ my husband said calmly . A wom)好范文网○www.haoword.com(an sitting nearby leaned over and asked, ”How in the world did you understand him?“

”I'm a dentist,“ my husband explained.

在饭店吃饭的时候，我申斥我4岁的儿子，因为他满嘴食物在说话。“喔、呢”，我听到的就是这些。 “祖，”我责备道，“没人明白你在说什么。” “他说他要一些番茄酱，”我丈夫平静地说。坐在旁边的一位妇女靠过来问道：“你究竟如何明白他的话的呢？” “我是牙医。”我丈夫解释道。

英语幽默冷笑话：How much English can you speak? 篇二

”Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to

be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his

way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English.“

The judge looked at the defendant and asked, ”How much English can you speak?“

The defendant looked up and said, ”Give me your wallet!“

”法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。

而且，他只会说几个英语单词。“

法官看了看被告，问道：”你会说多少英文？“

被告抬起头，说：”把你的钱包给我！“

英语小笑话 篇三

"Tom, whats the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "Hes crying."

"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "Im eating my cake. He is crying because I wont give him any."

"But has he finished his own cake?"

"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."

"汤姆，你弟弟怎么了？" 妈妈在厨房里问。"他在哭。"

"没事儿，妈妈，" 汤姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因为我不给他吃。"

"他已经吃完自己的了么？"

"是的。" "我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。"

经典英语口语小笑话 篇四

老虎来了

When a Tiger comes Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of ”Nikes“ from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, ”Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?“ His friend replies: ”I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you.“

两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎出现在远处，向他们冲来。当中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”跑鞋，开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说，“你以为穿上跑鞋就可以跑得过老虎吗？” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得过它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”

幽默爆笑的英语的小笑话 篇五

The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.

I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.。.。.

翻译：新老师

9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。

乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？ 妈妈问。

妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。

英语幽默冷笑话：Knights & Nights 黑暗时代 篇六

Teacher: Why do we sometimes call the Middle Ages the Dark Ages?

Betty: Because they had so many knights.

老师：为什么有时我们称中世纪为黑暗时代呢？

贝蒂：因为那时有许多骑士。

英语口语幽默笑话 篇七

Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. or, should I say, his lack of day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, ”Someone just picked my pocket!“ Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, ”How could anyone stoop so low?“

我们的餐厅经理是一位深受大家爱戴，和蔼而又快乐的人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高。或者，我应该说，他是有点矮！一天，经理怒气冲冲地撞门而入，高声说，“有人拿了我的钱包！”

我和其她大部女招待都没敢吱声，但有人却蹦出一句话：“哪有人能弯腰弯那么低的啊”！

经典英语口语小笑话 篇八

Three Men in a Boat

Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.

A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.

”Oh yes, “ he said. ”They are my friends.

“In that case, ” warned the officer, “you'd better get them out of here!”

“Yes, sir, ” the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.

三人同舟

三位男子在公园的长椅上坐着。中间的一个在读报纸，另外两个在假装钓鱼。他们给想象的鱼钩上鱼饵，放线，并卷线把鱼抓上来。

一位过路警察驻足观察了这个景象，他问中间的那个男子是否认识其他两位。

“喔，认识，”他说，“他们是我的朋友。”

“那样的话，”警察告诫说，“你最好把他们从这里弄走。”

“好的，警官。”那男子回答说，接着就开始疯狂般地做起划桨的。动作来。

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