英语口语幽默笑话（精品多篇）范文

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英语小笑话 篇一

孩子的祈祷

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents house。 At bedtime， the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers， when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs: "I pray for a bicycle。 I pray for a new toy。"

两个小男孩在祖父母家过夜。睡觉的时候，两个小男孩跪在床边开始祈祷，这时小一些的孩子扯开嗓子大声喊道：“我祈求得到一辆自行车。我祈求有一个新玩具。”

His older brother leaned over， nudged him and said， "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isnt deaf。"

他的哥哥靠过来，用肘轻碰他说：“你为什么这么大声喊叫呢？上帝又不是聋子。”

To which the little brother replied， "No， but Grandma is!"

弟弟回答说：“是的，可是奶奶听不到呀！”

英语小笑话 篇二

三只乌龟

Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee。 Just as they got into the cafe， it started to rain。

The biggest turtle said to the smallest one， " Go home and get the umbrella。"

The little turtle replied， "I will， if you dont drink my offee。"

"We wont，" the other two promised。

Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle， "Well， I guess he isnt ing back， so we might as well drink his coffee。"

Just then a voice called from outside the door， "If you do， I wont go。"

三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“回家去取伞吧。”

最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”

“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。

两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们能够把它的咖啡喝掉了。”

正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”

英语小笑话 篇三

A Useful Way 一个有效的方法

Father: Jack， why do you drink so much water?

Jack: I have just had an apple， Dad。

Father: What"s that got to do with it?

Jack: I forgot to wash the apple。

爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀？

杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果，爸爸。

爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢？

杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀。

英语小笑话 篇四

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students。 He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait。

Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in。 The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point。"

The next class the professor handed the tests back out。 This student got back his test and $64 change。

一天，教授正在给学生们监考。他发下试卷，然后回到讲台前等待。

考试结束了，学生们纷纷交回试卷。教授发现一张试卷上别着一张百元钞票，还有一张纸条写着：“一分一块钱。”

第二堂课，教授把试卷都发回学生们手中。其中一个学生不但得到了试卷还得到64块钱的找零。

英语小笑话 篇五

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"

Hotel Host: "I cant imagine， unless its because you have the plate he usually eats from。"

客人：“为什么你的狗狗坐在那儿老是看着我吃东西呢？”

旅馆主人：“我不敢想象，除非是因为你拿了它经常用来吃东西的盘子了。”

英语小笑话 篇六

我根本就看不见

After supper， the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests。 At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV， "Honey， go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while， her son returnedand said， "Ma， the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all。"

晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢？” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。”

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